|
Home
C&D
Trent
FourFour
YBF
ConcreteLoop
Im meant to be alone because everyone leaves
|
1:53 a.m. on January 23, 2009 It’s after 1 and I am writing yet again. I mean you would think after my embarrassment from the last post I would just disappear and hopefully no one would remember me. No. I am trying to figure out how to take years of history in my life from this diary and transfer it to a site all about me, and if you have not noticed I am a little narcissistic. It runs in the family and I am straight out blaming my dad. Anyway, I had a point, or some sort of motive to write but it slipped my mind. I want to leave Diaryland, and if anyone knows how I can download my most of my 20’s into a little file folder on my external hard drive holler. I have to move. I have 4 more classes till graduation, and I HAVE to get out of here. I still hate it as much as I did when I first got here. Oh, and it does not make it better that I think everyone that tried to talk to me is UGLY. I made it a habit long ago to not call people ugly because ugly is such a harsh word, it’s very insensitive and so judgmental. These motherbitches are UGLY as fuck. The selection of men here is depressing. I look at the sites and honestly I rather masturbate, and I do! I need to go somewhere where there is a high concentration of straight healthy black men. I narrowed it down to Baltimore, Harlem, Miami, Los Angeles and I’m fighting Atlanta just because that’s where everyone moves like it’s the promise land or some shit. I’m so sincere when I say this, I actually think I’m cursed, because it makes no sense for me to be on the hunt for this long and still be single. I ain't trying to get married, I’m just trying to have committed monogamous unprotected sex that will lead to me getting an engagement ring and going half on a light bill, or something like that. I have a problem and it could be me, maybe I should be nicer but nicer to me means putting up with unnecessary bullshit, and frankly I’m not good at that. I’m too picky, shallow, and my attention span is not there. I met this guy, he was nice and everything and I thought ok maybe he might be the last one, then he was like I’m moving back Louisiana and I immediately stopped talking to him. What was I supposed to do? Get attached, have sex, form a relationship, wait for him to leave then evolve into his Cali girlfriend? Fuck that shit. I’m trying to find a way to permanently import domestic exchanged men, and keep them in proximity. It seems like everyone I really like LEAVES. Bootyfetish is moving to Chicago! Mr. moved to Alaska after joining the air force, and now the new guy is moving back to Louisiana. Seriously, I give up I’m not going to try anymore. I’m not looking anymore; I’m not doing any of this crap anymore. I’m meant to be alone. I’m going to go order me some penises online in different sizes and fuck a different one every night to keep the variety in my life. Until next time… |
Hello Readers, Thanks for coming to my blog. I expect lot's of comments! I have had this blog since 2003, and sometimes I wonder why I started it. Everything I write here is from my personal experience; things I find interesting, and my personal opinions on what's going on in the world. If you are offended easily this is not the blog for you. You are welcome to stay as long as you like as long as you respect my personal space. Don't make me act "ethnic". That will be all.