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LIfe is bullshit ... Im already in hell.
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1:21 p.m. on June 19, 2009 I have been struggling all my fucking life. Every day I struggle more and more, and the most fucked up thing I can think of is how can hell be anymore worst then real life? I’m just tired of everything. One of the reasons I can’t believe in hell is because I been in hell for 28 fucking years and you fucking telling me that if I die and don’t believe in god I get to go to hell… really? I’m already there. So fuck you. This whole fucked up life I was born into is making me angry on the inside. I never asked to be here, going through more shit and I could possible handle and I’m at my breaking point. I would think that at some point in my life things would change but it’s like a cycle. You do one thing and then something else terrible happens. You can’t get up because you keep falling down. I mean how many times I have to fall before I just be like fucking it, I might as well stay down here. Every two years I’m in the same predicament. I’m never having kids, I couldn’t possibly bring someone else in the world to go through the same shit I’ve been going through all my life. Life is so fucked up I just couldn’t be that evil to share my pain with someone else. I’m in so much pain right now I can’t even see my computer screen through my tears. I feel bad, I feel sick, I feel helpless, I feel pain, it’s like I can’t even breathe. Everything hurts. I always try to make the best of everything I have, and all my opportunities. Now, Im sitting here crying cause I This is fucking bullshit. |
Hello Readers, Thanks for coming to my blog. I expect lot's of comments! I have had this blog since 2003, and sometimes I wonder why I started it. Everything I write here is from my personal experience; things I find interesting, and my personal opinions on what's going on in the world. If you are offended easily this is not the blog for you. You are welcome to stay as long as you like as long as you respect my personal space. Don't make me act "ethnic". That will be all.