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LIfe is bullshit ... Im already in hell.
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1:21 p.m. on June 19, 2009 I have been struggling all my fucking life. Every day I struggle more and more, and the most fucked up thing I can think of is how can hell be anymore worst then real life? I’m just tired of everything. One of the reasons I can’t believe in hell is because I been in hell for 28 fucking years and you fucking telling me that if I die and don’t believe in god I get to go to hell… really? I’m already there. So fuck you. This whole fucked up life I was born into is making me angry on the inside. I never asked to be here, going through more shit and I could possible handle and I’m at my breaking point. I would think that at some point in my life things would change but it’s like a cycle. You do one thing and then something else terrible happens. You can’t get up because you keep falling down. I mean how many times I have to fall before I just be like fucking it, I might as well stay down here. Every two years I’m in the same predicament. I’m never having kids, I couldn’t possibly bring someone else in the world to go through the same shit I’ve been going through all my life. Life is so fucked up I just couldn’t be that evil to share my pain with someone else. I’m in so much pain right now I can’t even see my computer screen through my tears. I feel bad, I feel sick, I feel helpless, I feel pain, it’s like I can’t even breathe. Everything hurts. I always try to make the best of everything I have, and all my opportunities. Now, Im sitting here crying cause I This is fucking bullshit. |